Review of Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

8 Mar

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988) is a slasher/horror/thriller film and the seventh entry in the Friday the 13th franchise.

Directed by John Carl Buechler (Troll (1986), Ragewar (1984)), mostly known for his special effects work.

Written by Daryl Haney (Mockingbird Don’t Sing (2001), Emmanuelle, Queen of the Galaxy (1994)),  and Manuel Fidello mostly known for not writing anything before or since.

Starring: Kane Hodder, Lar Park-Lincoln, Terry Kiser, Kevin Spirtas, Heidi Kozak, William Butler, John Otrin and others.

So the movie starts off with random death scenes from the previous films and a voice-over narration, explaining why Jason Voorhees is hanging around at the bottom of a lake.

Although we did see Jason waking up dressed a bit differently at the end of the last film, apparently he decided it was not time yet, so here we see him “dead” again. No one thought it might be appropriate to drag Jason’s body out and cremate or something, since people keep going to the lake and swimming in it.

I think after a while people would just decide to stop hanging around Camp Crystal Lake, since more than a few people have died there, but no, they never learn, to think about it, they actually deserve to die for this idiotic behavioral pattern. Go, Jason!

This marks the first time Kane Hodder puts on the iconic hockey mask and becomes the fan favourite. Although his Jason isn’t in the best condition, with his spine visible, all roughed up, life at the bottom of a lake is hard, you know.

It has none of the comedic tone of the previous one, instead we get more supernatural elements and daddy issues, since our main character is Carrie, no not in the sense of late first menstruation, but she has some telekinetic abilities. I don’t mind that much, because, to be fair, Jason hasn’t been just the disfigured fellow next door for the last few movies either.

Also none of the previous films has looked so 80’s, except maybe the black “shit’n’sing” guy in the fifth one.

Of course some camping couple decide that they should take a machete to chop some wood, instead of, you know, an axe. What are we, in a rainforest?

Almost sadly, they seem to have tried to make a serious movie, but that is not what people expect when they go to see the 7th film in a slasher series. It would be fine if they had succeeded, but what they succeeded at was making a serious, dull and unentertaining movie with a ridiculous concept. And that’s the thing, it is an interesting idea, just poorly executed.

Elizabeth Kaitan is sort of hot in her little role. There’s little nudity, just some ass Kaitan’s tits and underwater ones. Not that I notice or anything. The lack of nudity and more importantly gore is something we have to thank the good old MPAA for. Those bastards.

It has one of the best kills of the series, where Jason just picks up a girl in a sleeping bag and smashes her against a tree. That was seriously awesome.

Although you can do just about anything to zombie Jason and he is unfazed, apparently when you pour some gasoline on him, he starts covering and stepping back. Maybe due to the fact that he knows that a minute later the wooden house he is in will be slowly burning and then for no reason randomly blow the fuck up. This might not be uncommon, since the characters outside run away from it and then duck right before it explodes.

The ending also goes into some ridiculous nonsense

It’s hard to really feel sorry for not-Carrie, since she is the one who resurrected Jason.

Overall, not bad, but also not very entertaining. I think you can skip this one and go straight to Jason Takes a Cruise Ship. Not recommended.

Pictured: Jason putting on a custom-made condom.

3 Responses to “Review of Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)”

  1. alohamisterhand March 9, 2012 at 12:36 am #

    lol, great review! i love this one, actually, i don’t know why, i just find it very entertaining, and Jason is really mean, of course with the help of Kane Hodder! Nice job! 🙂

    • karlails March 9, 2012 at 7:31 am #

      Yeah, I like all of them in their own special way. I would easily agree to watch any of these movies again, before I agree to watch, for example, some Julia Roberts romantic comedy. But I have to be objective.

      • alohamisterhand March 9, 2012 at 7:32 am #

        Yeah, I totally watch all of them every so often, gotta have a Friday fix sometimes! LOL I agree with you about the romantic comedies! I’m so sick of those! haha

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: