Review of The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

8 Oct

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) is a Dutch sci-fi/body horror film, which is considered quite controversial, I guess, mostly by those that haven’t seen it.

Directed and written by Tom Six (I Love Dries, Gay in Amsterdam), who after the centipede movies is certainly not Netherlands’ favorite son.

Starring: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura and others.

This movie has been described as “the most horrific movie ever made”, “torture porn”, “deliberately intended to inspire incredulity, nausea and hopefully outrage” among other things and anyone who’s not a little girl and has seen this movie will agree on that it’s total bullshit.

The movie starts out with the only two female actresses in it, showcasing painfully awful acting. They blow a tire and are creeped out by a horny gross fat guy who stops next to them. At this point I started feeling like the film is intended as a sort of dark comedy. And throughout it there came up quite a few of these comical moments, but I was never sure if it was intentional, maybe not and I’m just a bad person.

So the two girls find this house, where they meet Dr. Heiter. And this is the only highlight about the execution of the movie – Dieter Laser. He was creepy as shit, very skinny, square-jawed, cheekbones you could cut metal with, emotionless eyes, in a white overcoat, aviator sunglasses, carrying a dart gun. Looked like a classic Bond villain, this Udo Kier/Lance Henriksen/Christopher Walken vibe, yeah, you know the one. A bit was how when at the start of the movie he’s all bad-ass and calm, but then by the end he starts totally losing it. And in between he’s just batshit insane.

So when the girls are in Heiter’s house, he tells them he hates people (yes, just like that) and then they just drink some water, which of course is drugged. And this isn’t the dumbest thing done by the characters here. At one point a girl manages to escape, but instead of leaving and getting help she goes back to carry out her friend. She’s captured again and now wakes up with her mouth sewn to a Japanese guy’s ass and her ass sewn to her friend’s mouth.

That’s the most disturbing thing you’ll get out of this movie – hearing about the concept of connecting people in this manner. There’s nothing shocking or graphic about the execution itself, because all you see is some stitches on the cheeks of the victims and everything else is covered by bandages. And if that seems in any way disturbing to you than you’re a sick fuck with a too vivid imagination.

And I mean, come on, how can people think something that is R-rated could be really disturbing?

SPOILERS! This is all you'll see!

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